Today, I was half naked and getting dressed when my Edward cutout (which I bought on one of my frequent trips to Forks) fell on top of me. Instead of pushing it off, I exclaimed, "Oh Edward! Not this early!" Then my mother walked in and took him out of my room saying, "its for my own good." MLIT
hahaha really thats funny id probably do the same lol
LMAO!!! I would so do the same tee hee
I think that's pretty much huh-lair-ee-us.
.......................................wow...................................... no comment. *haha and I'm commenting* XD
Well I'm glad he can't hurt you anymore. But why did you buy him in the first place? It must be hard having to see his uglyness so often.
Well thank your mother... It is for your own good
omg this is seriously the funniest MLIT on this site lol!! I cant stop laughing!! I would totally do the same
I'm now Team YOUR MOM. Seriously I have just gotten so much respect for that woman. BONUS IF SHE BURNS IT!
Haha, i agree w/ sardonic!
Haha Funnist thing I have heard THIS WEEK!
i think your mom is a much better person than you and why would you buy that in the first place you faggot?
Because, you know, ever girl's dream guy is an abusive, sparkling, dead pedophile- right? right!
NOT. Please get a life and stop ruining the future of humanity!
GOOD FOR YOUR MOM.
Read some REAL literature.
No words.......................................................
Made my day or maybe a weekXDDDDDDDD
LOL
Made my life. Marry me?
P.S-I can't really marry you, you like Twilight...
I feel really scared for the people who fantasise about this sort of stuff.
Seriously, meet a real boy.
IT'S. CARDBOARD.
SERIOUSLY!
A CARDBOARD CUT OUT OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!
WHO SPARKLES.
Ugh, people are mean.
I got an Edward cut-out for Christmas, I'm kind of hoping
this will happen to me. Hehe.
your mother has sense. what happened?
Lmao thats really funny!!!!
i would do the same if my daughter had a giant edward cutout in her room.
although i guess you didn't inherit it from her, you mother has excellent common sense not to let her daughter have a stalker in her room.
He didn't want to have sex with you. He was trying to kill you. But don't worry, it was for your own good. It was TOTALLY sweet! Your mother is TOTALLY overreacting!
KTHNXBAI
Twilight is a disgrace to the film and literature industries. The fans are all positively delusional, and seem to be under the impression that they are all real characters. Every character in twilight is a one dimensional git. Edward is quite possibly the most abusive, over-protective, pedophile boyfriend imaginable. Bella is a Mary-Sue with no emotions and is only attracted to Edward because of his appearance. And she reminds us so every few pages, as that's the only thing about him that she ever comments on. She never compliments his personality, only his face. And Jacob's just a pedophile.
I understand that Twilight is supposed to be a love story for pre-teen girls, but there's nothing about love in Twilight. It's about lust. And the fourth book is definitely not acceptable for pre-teens. It's pretty well all about Bella and Edward's sex life.
And don't even get me started on Stephanie Meyer's complete disregard for traditional vampire customs. Vampires are supposed to be reduced to ashes in the sunlight. Edward looks like he just got into the body glitter. Vampires are supposed to drink human blood, and have fangs. The fact that twilight "vampires" have no fangs just furthers my point that they're not really vampires. There are just so many things that are wrong with this series, and I'm wasting my time writing this.
Twilight: The story of a girl's choice between Necrophilia and Bestiality.
I think you people should try not to rape Cedric.
i completely agree with Lestat is a sex beast twilight is terrible, I live in evergreen washington and have driven through forks many times and why anybody would want to go there is beyond me bacuse all that is there is a twilight HQ and some crappy stores, and lots of rain and its about the size of the Key arena in seattle WA, its a terrible town and a terrible movie, and "edward" as you call him was way better as Cedric in Harry Potter
You will die alone and a virgin
wow, you know i got an Edward cut out for christmas just so i could watch him burn ^_^
That's just sad, especially the fact that you change in front of a poster O.O
I laughed so hard at this. I understand how you feel because I also hate morning sex. I like to do it in the afternoon with my cardboard cutouts
^^^^^ epic win, inkstainedsoul
oh my god. i thought this was HILARIOUS!!!! these stupid haters should go crawl back under their rock. seriusly. you guys are going to die alone you ugly old hags. i LOVE twilight and i dont hate harry potter, so i dont understand why us twilight fans aregettiong so much crap about this. its so immature.
edwardisMINE!: You get crap cause you type things like "aregettiong" and "seriusly" and are disgustingly over obsessed. Example: OP's post. And calling us ugly old hags is not mature. Therefore, YOU FUCKING FAIL. Now please, go get a life.
haha i would wanna do that with edward ahha no wait jacob or emmet or jasper! haha MLIT :)
i dont get twi-haters they need a life even if they hate it theyree still obsessed and btw harry potter is GAY! read between the lines its obvious enough at least edward has eternal love for bella not ron weasley!!!
Edawrd was in the nazi regime--True story...
@JaspersAngel: I'm sorry, but I fail to see how anything in the books shows that Harry is gay. I see a guy perfectly happy for his two best friends, a guy and a girl, to get together, jealous when he sees the girl he likes making out with someone else, and never actually giving a hint at homosexuality. This seems normal. Edward, on the other hand, gives his girlfriend permission to go about kissing other guys, lets said guy share a sleeping bag with said girlfriend, and even watches them whilst they do so. This does NOT seem normal. Please enlighten me as to how this makes Harry gay, and Edward straight, because I am extremely confused.
Lol i wud steal that from ur mom
please leave Cedric alone, stop trying to rape him
It is for your own good, so is "Forceful Euthenasia".
in a court of Law it's called murder
(1). Um... STOP. FUCKING. YOUR. CARDBOARD. CUTOUTS. YOU. STUPID. BITCH.
This post is really sad...
haha I would totally do that too!!!! So funni!!
Okay, so Twilight is demeaning to women. None of us girls would even think of falling in love with a pixie mermaid thing, and Bella only chases after Edward because she wants something that she can't have. Also, all Edward does is explain how sexy he is and Bella listens to him and agrees. Bella is such a stereotypical character and what in Stephine's eyes, are us teen girls. Do you like Stephine calling us retarded girls who fall in love with random people and things that don't even exist? And, and and and and, we don't have any emotions and always chase after a boy just because his face is "gorgeous". Bella just explains how gorgeous and beautiful Edward is and never shuts up about it! "That was the first night that I drempt of Edward Cullen." What the heck? Why do we care?
Twilight is the new swear word of the century or decade.
Well this is just sad. Get a life. Edward isn't real, he is fictional, and to have a card board cut out is just well creepy.
haha LOL my mom would probably take me to therapy if I did that (not joking) guess moms just don't understand ):
Your mom sounds like an EXTREMELY smart woman. Just imagine how you'd feel if your child became unhealthily obsessed with a FICTIONAL (I can't emphasize that word enough), sparkly, poorly developed (not to mention UGLY) character. Read some real books... by authors with talent... and leave the characters where they belong... in the story. You'd react the same way as your mother if you were in her shoes. Tell your mom she rocks and give her a high five!
you should are one of those people i hate. your mom is smart.
I'd probably scream " HELP THERE'S A STALKER IN MY ROOM AND HE'S TRYING TO MOLEST ME!!!" then scream and burn tht cut out....but then again, I would NEVER have an Edward cutout in my room....Cedric maybe, but not Edward
OP, GET A FRIKKIN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
your mom walked in when you were half naked?
Go your mom! This is sad.
This is sad, disgusting, AND disturbing. And why did your mom wak in when you were half naked?!
You're mom is right. Its for your own good. You Creep.
LOL! If my mom would do that, I would have to get it back A.S.A.P. I couldn't trust her to not do the same thing I did! Haha, just kidding. We both love the Saga, and Edward. My mom would probably just make fun of me if I did the same thing as you (which I totally would have) clearly the idiots on here being down right rude can not comprehend in their tiny little heads, that you were just messing around. It is the irony of the situation that made her tell the poster not that early. It. Is. Called. A. Joke. And that's hilarious, I would probably freak myself out and think that it jumped at me or something and I would think that God was giving me a sign that Edward loves me! Lol, whats the point of life if you can't fantasize? Do you have an answer.... nope, didn't think so. Someone who can't dream, or tell a joke, or can't even understand a joke, then.. well... I truly pity them.
Who knew that when the Dark Lord murdered Cedric, he would become a sparkly vampire with cardboard cutout clones with girls trying to rape them?
ok yeah i would probably do the same, which is kinda sad.
and where do people keep getting these cut-outs?! I WANT ONE!!! :D
LMAO this was really funny! however i agree with your mum, if i were her i would have done the same!
Wow. Really? That's just, um wow. I really don't know what to say. That's pretty sad.
She's right, get a boyfriend that isn't cardboard, or plastic.
You are a retard,and if you're 'mrs. pattinson' then you should hate Twilight and SMeyer, because Robbert Pattinson said Smeyer was insane in an interview ;). I used to HATE that guy.
You have a great mother. Try getting a real boyfriend.
1. your mom sounds awesome!!
2. your life isnt twilight, its just sad... twilight sucks too.
You are a disgrace to human kind
Yeah, it really was for your own good. You probably haven't gotten laid in so long that you PUSHED the cutout on yourself.
Anyway, maybe you need to attempt to get a boyfriend (if you can find one who doesn't think you're completely, overly obsessed with shiny vampires) and a psyciatrist.
You need a hobby.
~Avada Kadarva, Twilight
Look...i get people love to fantasize...heck i have an anime vampire right near my heart...but this is just unhealthy and honestly if people are this obbsessed you need help! In all seriousnes this is phycotic! its ok to be a fan of something and like it but when it gets this out of hand you have to realize that this is NOT GOOD! i do this not cause im a hater, but because this is just disturbing/....
oh noo!! snape is goin to take the sorcerers stone!!
oh noo!! snape is goin to take the sorcerers stone!!
This fucking series has gone too far! Same with the fans! Now, these people are fucking cut-outs? You paper cut-out, gay sparklig asshole fucker! TWILIGHT SUCKS!!!
Have fun, because that will be the closest thing to sexual interaction that you will ever have in your sad, lonely, Twilight-obsessed life.
TWILIGHT SUCKS ALL HAIL HARRY POTTER MLIA POKEMON HAHHHAHAHHAHAHHHAA YOU FUCKING TWITARDS
1.use a condom 2.dont get paper cut 3.THIS IS SAD GO TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL
Your mother is my new idol. I hope she shreds your cutout.
The ministry of magic has decided to sentence Edward Cullen capital punishment due to his negative influence upon society. However, since the current minister is supporting gay rights, the ministry decided to only permanently remove his sparkles and return his body glitter to Lady Gaga.
You're welcome
Well, thank God your mother was there.
LISTEN TO HER.
Thank God your mum was there. Now go buy every Harry Potter and hi 5 your mother. THATS AN ORDER.
Haha that would be awkward.
this shouldn't be on MLIT, it should be on FML. because your life is seriously fucked up and pathetic.
Why did You-Know-Who have to kill Cedric and make him a fairy?
you are a sad and lonely person.
your mom is a good person. If any of my kids did that, they'd be grounded for a week...and they BOTH have cutouts
@ 35. We are not going to die alone. We are going to die satisfied that we live a life that consisted of more than sex with a piece of cardboard and actual literature. And I would rather die alone than with a lifesize pedophile cut-out.
I can't believe you own a cut-out of Edward Colon in the first place... what is the world coming to?
...this is very sad.
Hmm. You don't see anybody doing that with a cutout of Harry Potter, do you? I now know which series has more obsessive fans.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I don't even need to "avada kedavra you" because you're already killing yourself! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH EYAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH MUH HUH HUH HUH
you have major problems. please go see a therapist.
Poor mom of yours. She must be depressed by having a daughter (or son I can't be sure) like that...
It's obvious you didn't get your lack of good taste from your mom.
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I agree with, and feel deep sympathy for, you're mother. I can't imagine what it must be like to walk into your daughter's room to see her lying half naked under and Edward cut-out pretending to have sex with him. Dear lord. This makes me ashamed to be a woman--and a human being.
This is only making life harder for this generation, and possibly the next several ones to follow. When I have a husband and children, I'm going to have to ban Twilight from the household, and then read any other books that my children bring into the house before I can allow them to read it. What is this world coming to?
-BlueBloods
I agree with EVERYTHING you just said.. This is insanity
your a sad person. DUMBLEDORES ARMY FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I'll also have to ban Twilight from my future kids. My reason isn't because I simply hate Twilight, I just don't want them becoming just like the OP. Obsessed and delusional (not that all Twilight fans are, there are a few sane ones).
Thank Potter for your mom. You'll understand when you're older.
You need to get a life...who the h**l buys an Edward Cullen cut out?
Oh my, you poor, poor delusional fangirl. You've nothing to fear, though. This isn't anything a hammer to the head won't fix :) Remember children, there's nothing wrong with liking something but there is EVERYTHING wrong with basing your entire life, thought process and last but not least, SANITY on it.
This...I'm at a loss for words.
Nothng rong with any ov this... I luv mine! MLIT + TEAM EDWARD 4EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA
Good luck with life, kid. I'm glad your mom has her priorities staight, but I'm afraid I may have to kill you. - Moldy Voldy OUT
This is too sad for words. Twilight is ruining everyone's lives and making them think that you can actually have "relations" with cardboard cutouts/book characters. This is awful. Go see your therapist and tell them that you have an A-D-D-I-C-T-I-O-N to something awful. I also recommend reading every Harry Potter book cover to cover, watching every Harry Potter movie, and burning your precious books about homosexual fairies that glitter. If that doesn't work, I suggest dying in a hole. Because that is what every twilighter needs to do. Avada Kedavra.
I have to say i am definately on team mum now
TEAM EDWARD 4EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA AND EVA
i LUV EDWARD AND U ALL SHUD DO THE SAM.
Hahaha OP, you're hilarious. Anybody outright insulting the OP, get a life ^^ Please. It makes me sad to see fellow HP fans going out of their way to insult Twilight fans. If they take a shot at HP first, then feel free to chuck the OP in a burning hole filled with an assortment of sharp objects. However, this OP did nothing deserving of that punishment. And, btw, HP fans, there are some obsessives amongst you. Please don't attempt to deny it. The only reason a few of you haven't gotten dirty with a Harry cut-out is cause you know Ginny will crucio your ass if you try ;)
Great story now get a life.
O.o I'm worried for my own sanity, just reading this. Voldy, kill me now.
Your mom seems sane, now we know its not genetics. :)
When the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months then jumped off a cliff.
i am sincerely concerned about you mental health, sincerely concerned mliaer
See, this is why I'm glad to be a HP fan, not a Twilight fan. We'd never be caught dead doing anything like that, even if we did have a life-sized cutout of Harry Potter. Hey, Twilight fans, I know you're not the sharpest knives in the drawer (woohoo, cliche!), but you must have realized by now that pretty much every post on this website has been infiltrated by the MLIAers. So... why haven't you just given up & taken down this website yet? When we infiltrated My Life is Justin Bieber, they eventually shut down their website & left a message that said, "Dear MLIAers, the war is on. Beliebers unite!", although I know they're not gonna fight us in any way. Why don't you do the same, MLIT people? :P
Mr. Moony is disgusted by this & will never be able to get that image out of his head.
Mr. Prongs praises the OP's mother for making fun of her.
Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs, and seriously hopes that the OP is indeed a her, and not a guy.
Mr. Wormtail is going to go back to MLIA now, where he doesn't have to read stories like this.
Twilight is an insult to vampires and werewolfes! VAMPIRES DONT FUCKING GLITTER!
-Once werewolfes and vampires were awesome.. :/
wow. creep. do you twilight people have any lives?
I sincerely hope you get the mental help you need.
If you cannot afford this, read some MLIA and Harry Potter
I like your mom, she seems like an awesome person
wow thats very disturbing you sick person get some mentel help............i feel so bad for your poor mom walking in your room seeing you half naked pretending to have sex with a card beored cut out........wow.
I told you he is a creepy pedo. It doesn't help that he sparkles.
Your mom is smart
Ok where did it say that she was pretending to do it with the cut out??she was making a joke!leave the poor girl alone!your mum is very smart though.i would be dead at the hands of my mum if i did that.
@L Lawliet- hates tw*l*ght, please marry me right now. Dumbledore's Army!
when I read this, my soul died slightly
I was on the harry potter website when my friend showed me this! I laughed! I realised that my obsessed jacob friend was actually all right with all her jacob posters!!
REALLY? HOW AWESOME! SO AWESOME!
DONT LISTEN TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY, THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS.
Btw, @AmiSparkles, up at comment 114 (or something like that)... learn how to spell, please!! It's ever, not eva; love, not luv; should, not shud; and same, not sam. WHY are you so intent on butchering the English language?
so...you have sex with a card board cut out? do you also masturbate to the t******* movies?
How many times did you hump the cutout's leg?
Your mom should tear it up and burn the remains.
god ur stupid it makes me sad to think that u think its ok to hump an edward cutout and i bet u dont have a boyfriend ether and thats why u think edward is hot (which he is not he is ugly just like u)
Oh, Amisparkles, please get a grasp on reality and no, I will not do the "SAM." Here is your comment, but with better grammer:
Nothing wrong with any of this- I love mine! My Life Is Twilight and Team Edward for ever!
You could have seemed the same level of stupid without having to write so much. Here's your second comment:
Team Edward forever! I love Edward and all of you should do the same!
See? Just as stupid!
you wanna be raped by a freakin loser w/ no life and has fake abs? you should thank your mother
Your mother needs to take it a step further and consult a psychiatrist, having sex with inanimate objects can deteriorate your mental health, if it can get much lower.
...Please stop giving all Muggles a bad name forever? Thankyou.
Edward raped you. >:D haha
MLIA.MLIA
MLIA
M
L
I
a.
i thought this post needed something not disturbing and instead comforting. Your welcome, losers.
wow! question how old are you and thats really sad
so, you had sex with a piece of paper..... in the shape of a sparkly gay fairy.... and u enjoyed it....well, im pretty sure its safe to say that you have mental problems and should probably see a doctor. You dont see harry potter fans ever doing this type of stuff....
Hmm, I wonder why that happened. *cough cough* weird*cough cough*.
How hasn't a single t*******er noticed that the first like four or five entries in the top 100 are completely anti-t******t? Come on, it just proves that they don't even read the stories. They just like every dern one of 'em because they are on the site. By the way, everyone who says that one girl in the books, whatsername, starts with B, is wrong. She jumped off a cliff, so I have heard, when the vampire thingamajig left. Hermione, on the other hand, just kept searching for horcruxes when ron(the coolest ginger on the planet, also known as rupert grint), left. How is that for a bamfing girl?
Bella Swan: the thing that set feminism back a hundred fucking years.
Twilight is not ruining anyones life and if you don't like twilight so much why the heck are you on this sight? Do you really have nothing better to do with your lives? I understand that some fans are over obsessive but that's the way it is for almost everything that become popular there are even a few harry potter fans that take it too far. So quit downing the twi-hards and get a life.
Did you cut a hole in the crotch so u could stick ur dick in it you sick basterd?!?!?!!?!?
Did you cut a hole in the crotch so u could stick ur dick in it you sick basterd?!?!?!!?!?
Did you cut a hole in the crotch so u could stick ur dick in it you sick basterd?!?!?!!?!?
Did you cut a hole in the crotch so u could stick ur dick in it you sick basterd?!?!?!!?!?
Did you cut a hole in the crotch so u could stick ur dick in it you sick basterd?!?!?!!?!?
Smart mom. I hoped she burned it.
Dear god go get some help.
That is one responsible mother! She has got her priorities straight! Hopefully she gets you some help now!
:P WOW..... just wow...... i have no comment
your mom was right. she should have never let you have the cedric cutout near your bed. just becouse hes dead, doesn't mean hes not still dating Cho Chang.
your mother is a smart woman.
I bet you have circle cut out where Edwards mouth is don't you?
If I was your mom, I would have burned Edward. MLIA forever!
If i was you, I would go thank your mother. At least someone around you has some sense. He is an abusive, sadonistic, pedophile that should have never been allowed into the World's coulture. You may want to try some real liturature like Harry Potter or Vampire Diaries. But be sure you kno VD was published in '91... Cus there are some major similarities that i dont believe should be legal there too!
I would have taken the cardboard and burned it.
Does any one else think its weird that her mom walked in on her while she was half NAKED?!
That is lewd and I did not need to know that HARRY POTTER 4EVER
Why did you do that to Cedric??? He's dating Cho Chang!!!
Did you suck his sweet cock? Wait, does he squirt sparkles? (If you know what I mean).
What If I sent someone over there to just tear the cutout apart? Would you cry? No wait, have a funeral for it?! Wahahaha! *Cough cough wheeze*
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