Today, my girlfriend said I should be more like Edward. So I bought some white makeup and plan to watch her sleep, because that is her favorite part of the series. MLIT
That is soooooo friggin' creepy. Does she not realize that that is unhealthy behaviour? Go have her looked at. You too, while you're at it.
Mental... all of you!
Its really dedicated of you... but I advise you to find a new girlfriend. Anyone that obsessed with the most cliche, soppy, horribly written novel of all time obviously needs to be in a straight jacket, or at the very least in counseling. Try making her read Harry Potter, a real book.
Harry Potter > Voldemort
Voldemort > Cedric
Cedric = Edward
Therefore,
Harry > Edward
"Girlfriend" Riiiiiiiiiiiight.
Today i found a site called www.mylifeistwillight.com and realized that not even the stupidity of the 4th book will probably not be enough to make you weird Twihards to wake up to the Real world, the future is screwed.
One the one hand that is nice of you to do that for her. On the other hand......... that's just....... no. Just no.
Personally, I recommend a 7-part dose of Harry Potter. That should cure your problem :) (and your girlfriend's).
I don't know which of you sounds more desparate and pathetic.
Find a SANE girl honey..
Today I realized that everyone who submits a story to this website is a creepy weirdo obsessed with an abusive sparkly vampire THAT DOES NOT EXIST. I was also delighted to find that everyone who commented was sane and knew that Harry Potter is better. Commenters, this website is not for you. Mylifeisaverage.com is where the Harry Potter lovers are.
how about you dump her and get a girl who would love it if you wear circular glasses and play quidditch.
you are so sweet! i would love for someone to do that to me i mean the make up is a little over the top but it shows how much you love her! You are the best boy friend that a girl could have! even though i dont know u haha! i want a boy friend like you! She is so lucky!
LMFAOLMFAOLMFAOLMFAO, thats so creeepy.
"My girlfriend wants me to put on white makeup and watch her sleep"
you need to dump her soon.
its for the best.
@Shaniah: Get some help sweetie. Please. Personally, I recommend a 7-part dose of Harry Potter or The Chronicles of Narnia. That should cure your problem :)
Take her to a psychiatrist to get looked at. And then, get yourself looked at too. Why would you not dump her...?
I can't tell if most of these stories are making fun of Twilight fans or sincere...
Whoa. That's creepy, man. Do twitards really not find this stuff creepy?
So, I put two and two together and decided you are a cannibal with low blood circulation. We should see other people.
Do you have nuts or are those kept in her purse?
dude. DON'T FEED HER OBSSESSION!!!! ITS NOT HEALTHY!
I really hope that you're joking. XD
Your girlfriend said you should be more like Edward, and you're not dumping her? K..well...while you're at it, why don't you find a way to sparkle in the sunlight a bit..yeah..
..... You are sir are in need of desperate of a head examination (as do all Twilight fans). Please don't submit to that idiocy again. Its a feeble way to express how much you wish to be with her. If she cannot accept you for you, then do not compromise your integrity. Its sickening.
yea try some mlia at least the average ppl there read narnia/harry potter, and are normal. Harry potter rules!!! twilite is just about a girl trying to choose between beastiality and necrophilia. harry potter and mlia have infiltrated the system!
yea try some mlia at least the average ppl there read narnia/harry potter, and are normal. Harry potter rules!!! twilite is just about a girl trying to choose between beastiality and necrophilia. harry potter and mlia have infiltrated the system!
yea try some mlia at least the average ppl there read narnia/harry potter, and are normal. Harry potter rules!!! twilite is just about a girl trying to choose between beastiality and necrophilia. harry potter and mlia have infiltrated the system!
Way to have a life.
ahah no.
Sweetie, get some Harry Potter in your life.
Dump her. Immediately.
If she finds it sexy to have a pale freak stand over her bed and watch her sleep, you must get out now.
i'm fairly sure this guy is joking...
I laugh myself to sleep with the fact that the last book is going to be almost impossible to make into a movie without being innately creepy and really awful. I hope your girlfriend stops being a fan when she she wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. If that is your goal, I salute you.
Kill her. One good AVADA KEDAVRA should do it..
Hmm. How do her parents feel about the fact that a guy wearing white make up is gonna be watching their daughter sleep? Seriously, Edwards not real. Get over yourself.
thats just creepy and unhealthy
Hmm, well that's disturbing....also I would like to point out that even though I despise twilight with the intensity of the sun that wishes it could burn that edwart to a crisp, Im not a fan of harry potter.
I havn't even finished the first book, it's a bit bland and boring for my taste, but the movies are really...amazing, so that really fills the void.
"...Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room..."
"i met a twi-tard once. Needless to say, i pointed and laughed"
People, people, you've got it all wrong! Young men SHOULD be re-enacting the "loving" antics of that nancy-boy, Edward. That way, when their girlfriends realise just how unsettling and creepy it is to be unconsciously stalked by a pale necrophiliac, they'll finally wake up to just how godawful these books are!
i think it's funny how everybody here thinks the "cure" is Harry Potter. the "cure" to me seems to be a mental institute. you know, because people who're obsessed with anything not real deserve to be there. just saying :)
@you-people-scare-me - Harry Potter, though not the "cure", is a far better alternative. A book about growing up and overcoming great adversity is automatically superior to one about having a boyfriend. Think of it like quitting smoking - rather than going cold turkey, most people chew nicotine gum, a healthier alternative.
You seriously want to act like a pedo?
oh god....
i agree with everyone.. a little insane dontcha think? i mean i recommend harry potter as well. try being more like ron weasley and less like edward cullen....at least he helped beat the dark lord.
Okay, dude, you are either totally whipped or a genius. Are you making fun of her unhealthy obsession or indulging it? Well in any event, if she dumps you, it's your fault, but hopefully she'll see the light and realize that Harry Potter is The Way (to put it in Daoist terms). We always accept new converts!
Edward dumped Bella. Maybe you should try that?
How unnecessary.
Your girl should love you for who you are. To see someone that is imperfect, perfectly is a great need for love to flourish.
Apparently you two have some problems..or your girl is just plain obsessed, and does not deserve you.
Maybe you should try to be like Eric Northman? He's way cooler than Edward. He doesn't sparkle. Just sayin'.
You should also hurt her during intercourse and forbid her going anywhere you think is dangerous. Like the bathroom- lots of slippery surfaces dude, she could get hurt. Twilight chicks love a strong man.
We recommend therapy for your girlfriend. You may also consider dumping her.
Don't listen to any of theswe misguided souls. There is nothing wrong with your desire to where white makeup while watching your GF sleep. Its not like your going out to get plastic surgery to look like Edward. Jeez and really if you hate Twilight THAN WHY ARE YOU ON THIS SITE????
I hope she shits herself when she wakes up.
@edwardsnumberone: and you call us misguided souls...
I prescribe a 7-part dose of Harry Potter, a MINIMUM 3-part dose of Vampire Chronicles, an extended stay in St. Mungos and some Vicodin.
...The Vicodin is for me. It's mine, you can't have any.
Omg!!! I wish I had a bf who would do that!!! As well as buying white make up and watching her sleep you should also start controlling evey aspect of her life, don't ever leave her alone, except when you go hunting (of course) during which time you should find her a babysitter, and don't let her talk to any of her friends anymore, especially not her best friend. That way, you'd be exactly like Edward!!!!!!!! :)
HAHAHA. Silly people. This made me laugh so hard. Don't you know cynicism when you see it?
The fact your willing to do that shows your a decent guy, which is exactly why I recomend you find a decent girl :)
(1). DUMP THE BITCH, YOU STUPID FAGGOT! She doesn't like you, she likes some SKINNY SPARKLY PALE WUSSY. She asks you to do THAT and to top it off, you COMPLY?! You put makeup on your face and act like some maniac, obsessive ass, stalking a girl in the middle of her sleep? WHAT KIND OF A MAN ARE YOU?! GROW A BACKBONE AND A NUTSACK, you FUCKING useless moron!!
wow.... this is just.... i cant even find the words to describe how pathetic and sad this is...... if she wants you to be more like edward then she doesnt love you for who you are... and she probably has some mental problems.... why would she want a creepy boyfriend that is always watching her sleep and be abusive to her and not let her do anything?
And @edwardsnumberone:
1. Your name sucks. Edward is a faggot.
2. Yes there is something very wrong with putting on white make up and watching your girlfriend sleep. Its creepy and unhealthy
3. The reason we are on this website is because these pathetic stories are funny to read these and know that people go this far with a shitty book and take it seriously. It brightens our day and gives us a good laugh
This is amusing what some people will do for twilight. Comeon! Its a character in a book, anyway, watching your girlfriend sleep is something a creep would do
That is so freaking creepy! Stalker! Help! There's a stalker! You BOTH need help.
My stalker alert is going off.
If my boyfriend watched ME sleep, I'd call the cops.
oh god i think i just died a little inside because of this post. but i also laughed. if this was a joke, i love your sense of humor, but cynacism does NOT transfer well over the internet. if not, then please check into the looney bin.
@edwardsnumberone Look whos talking...
Don't change yourself for her!! A good girlfriend would love you for who you are, not because you dress up as some creepy stalker >_<
In a stranger's opinion, DUMP HER. If she was worth anything, she would love you the way you are. :D
way to get laid dude way to get laid ;)
Okay, you plan to be a pale, stalker-fariy just to make your girlfriend happy? Dump her. Dump her hard.
Way to maintain your dignity -_-
Way to maintain your dignity -_-
Oh, wow... Ur creepy, and 99.99999999% gay... and 'girlfriend' right.....
why don't you drink her blood now too since that's cool.
thats sweet.your "girlfriend"has a obsession for albino insomniatic creepers.and even better you her "boyfriend" support this obsession.that sounds like a very healthy relationship to me.
I'm admire how devoted you are, but your girlfriend is suffering from a deadly, brain cell-killing mental illness, and you're only hurting her by not getting her help.
That's just really fuckin' creepy...
You know im actually kind of shocked at how much of you "twilight haters" are on here. There are more of you all then "twihards". You must be JUST as obsessed to take your time to even mention the word Twilight. If you TRULY hated it, then why he hell are you even on here? I just think thats like freaking hilarious. Twilight lovers and Twilight haters, are both quite obsessed with it. Its even funnier that you take your time to like try and come up with all of these comments just to like make you seem smarter for not liking a book. And...it freaking makes my day. :D
pinkfrenchfry- you know im actually kind of shocked at how much you twifags STILL can't get it through your skulls that we're here because we find it endlessly amusing to make fun of stupid people such as yourself. We DO TRULY hate it. Why the hell are we here? Like I said before. It is incredibly entertaining to troll on some fugly website such as this one. And we ARE smarter for not liking a book that endorses pedophilia, beastiality, necrophilia, and teenage pregnancy among other things. And for knowing vampires don't freaking sparkle. So you know what, like, freaking makes my day? That you still believe all the posts saying how much these twifags are dipshits are somehow because we're actually obsessed with twilight. Because it proves our point of how much twifags are dipshits. End of story.
first of all, i said aweh when i first read this.
then i read it again, and i realized that you are ridiculous.
why use white paint?
just put glitter all over yourself!
it's a lot easier i would say.
way to be a stalker. honestly if she wants you to change and be "more like Edward" why are you still dating her?
# 1 twilighthater- Haha wow you know more about the book than i do. Its really funny how you think saying how dumb someone else is, will like make them stop reading the book, or think they are going to like feel dumb. They dont really care. Calling some else dumber, doesnt make you any smarter. But Im glad the twifags amuse you. :) its good to know you are smiling and feeling great about yourself by trying to bring someone else down. :) It shows how much confidence you have. :)
*pinkfrenchfry* -Do you know any other words other than 'dumb'? Ignorant, mentally incompetent, or ,in simpler terms, stupid. We know that saying those things won't make them stop. But, you have to admit, obssessions over a book is quite intolerable. Liking it is alright, but alot of Twihards take this too far. Well, that's my reason.
*OP*- Are you sure you're a 'man'? Check your pants again, and if you have ever reached puberty. Dedication is good, but you are just adding onto her obssession. If you agree with her wanting Edward, then run through a window. The glass in your skin will sparkle. Also, the pain will make you stiff, like a corpse. Stand in the snow, you'll be cold. Now, you are her Edward. God, if she wishes that, you must be horrible in bed.
@pinkfrenchfry- eh I think it's common knowledge that Edward is 109 years olf (a pedophile), is a vampire, making him half-dead (necrophilia), sparkles (he's gay), and Jacob is a dog (beastiality). Oh, and Bella and Edward make a baby waaaaaaaaay before they're supposed to (teenage pregnancy). It's not like I study the book to pick out random obsucre facts to memorize...And hey, being 'smart' is only determined by how dumb everyone else is. You can be pretty stupid but if everyone else is dumber than you are, that makes you pretty smart, because words such as 'great', 'awesome', 'smart', and 'stupid' really don't carry any meaning unless compared to something else. Therefore, because Twilight came into existance, the rest of the world that doesn't like Twilight just got a whole lot smarter. Either way, you saying cliche quotes that a mommy tells her kid to stop bullying isn't really going to do anything and it just makes you look like a 5-year-old who really thinks the world is full of unicorns, rainbows and sunshine. Oh, and sparkly vampires. Cause I will bet you that I have more confidence in my pinky finger you do altogether. Why don't you Twilight fans go out in public to announce you just made out with your dog instead of posting it annonymously on this website? Or tell your friends and famliy that you made out with your cardboard cutout instead of posting it here?
You must really love her or are Obsessed with Twilight yourself to do that insanity.
Ok. Seriously? You have to be FUCKED IN THE FUCKING HEAD. What STRAIGHT guy puts on white make up and GLITTER (the herpies of arts and crafts) and watches his girlfriend sleep? I mean, seriously? And your girlfriend mus be pretty sheltered as wel. I know I wouldn't want my boyfriend looking like a disco ball when I sleep. You two must have some serious psychological issues to play out this fantasy. Get a life. Read some real literature, and get a sane girlfriend. Freak.
#1 twilighthater- hahah you're so funny. Oh im no twilight fan, i havent posted anything on here. I dont know why Twilight people dont go out and say those things in public. Dont ask me ask them. :) Nice talking to you.
Ok, people there's a difference between loving someone a lot and doing anything (within reason) for them. and supporting an all-out unhealthy obsession the person you love clearly puts over you. Why would you agree to do something so your girlfriend can pretend you're someone else? Isn't that kind of saying 'ok, not only am I going to completely support this unhealthy girly obsession you have, I'm going to let you mentally cheat on me, and aid you in doing so'. There's a very distinct line between petty little request from someone that loves you and completely disregarding your partner's feelings for something that, quite frankly, is not important in the least. The OP has not only crossed that line, she crossed it, didn't notice it, and ran a couple miles more looking for it. This is NOT OK.
You. Need. To. Dump. Her. Stalking: it's illegal and you still don't make friends
Hahahahaha lolololololol
This is funny!! :)
Mayybe she'll see how creepy it really is.
Gahh I literally "lol"ed at this.. how sad. :S
one of the saddest thing's i've ever read in my entire life
so you are a 108 year old gay dead sparkling fairy?
*calls the cops and reports and pedophile*
Lolz i bet she's gonna lurve that XD
That part were Edward stalks Bella in her sleep is her fav part? I haven't even gotten my degree in therapy yet and I know that there's something wrong with her loving the fact that there's a monster watching her in her sleep. And you too for putting up for it.
Let's not be hating on the OP, guys. He's just been brainwashed by another obsessive Twi-hard. She told him to be more like Edward, and she told him that the part where Edward watches Bella in her sleep is her favorite part. He's got the facts, and he's got the determination to please his girlfriend. Cause I mean, if she is another obsessive one, she'd probably break up with him if he didn't do this.
All I can imagine is her waking up in the morning and accidentally stepping on you. "Dah, not again.."
Mr. Moony would like to say that the OP is a major stalker.
Mr. Prongs is concerned for the mental health of both the OP and his girlfriend.
Mr. Padfoot suggests seeing a psyclologit (or whatever those Muggle mind doctors are called)
Mr. Wormtail is not a doctor, but he thinks reading & watching the Harry Potter series should cure the OP's mental illness.
that is really super creepy P.S. your gf sounds like a weirdo who is obsessed with a fictional character who probably looks NOTHING LIKE YOU! So, in reality (if you are familiar with the concept) you should probably break up with the pyscho now before it turns ugly.
This is why you choose your favorite parts of crappy stories CAREFULLY.
how sad that your girlfriend dreams of another man
@ pinkfrenchfry , We come here because it's hilarious how sad all of you twihards are. I mean Really? This dude needs some help. DUMP THE GIRL!!11!!!!!1!!!!1
You'd be better if you just dressed up like a frickin' mime, nigga.
Okay, guys. Please help out in the war against the sparklepyres, top 100, 2nd post down.
@Ms. Lovegood- Please don't use that offensive word. How would you like it if you were black and people called you that.
Percy Jackson, if you're reading this, this is teamidontgiveacrap. We need you. Go to the discussion of names where Jazadia once resided. There you will find the address. Follow it. We will be waiting for you. Read How to Break a Twilight Curse first. Then continue to the Phoenix Song. Please hurry.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You gave in when she asked you to be more like Edward?
I might like someone watching me sleep.... Only if it's someone I know.
You know, I used to find the Twilight Saga okay, but then all these crazy fans appeared from hell and I started hating it. So Twilight fans, don't get angry at us for hating Twilight, it's your own fault that we do in the first place. MLIHP
THAT was her favorite part? Now, I personally think there were NO good parts, but to pick that? She is a creeper for sure. Or maybe she just has a weird obsession with crazy creepy stalker guys. Weird stuff man.
Troll he may be, but this guy makes me laugh every time I read his entry. XD Vicious, yet subtle. This, my friends, is the way to troll.
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