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Team Potter FOREVER!!! :) My wand is 10 1/2 inches willow with unicorn tailhairs and I honestly cannot see why anyone would read that pathetic useless-murder-of-trees called Twilight. Your "vampires" are beautiful, sparkling morons. Your protagonists mistake lust and insubstantial beauty for true love. Your characters are two dimensional – your villains are completely and pointlessly evil, and your protagonists are flawless and immortal. The language in your series is so simple, it could have been written by a two-year-old, except that every few chapters, there's a random thesaurus-sought word thrown in to make it seem slightly more intelligent. And yet you have the nerve to call Harry Potter stupid! Bella. She’s about as boring as a person can be, yet for some inexplicable reason, she has no fewer than five attractive boys fawning over her at onece. You argue that your characters are prettier than ours. It's a BOOK. Use your bloody imagination! If you want your Harry to look like a black-haired, green-eyed, and bespectacled version of Edward, be my guest! Quite personally, my Hermione looks more like me than Emma Roberts, and my Bella looks more like a (former) friend of mine. Yes, I've read Twilight. Yes, I forced myself through four volumes of absolute rubbish. And by the way, Bella is supposed to look plain, yet you cast a starlet with perfect wavy locks. Bloody brilliant. Another argument you make is that the books are too long, or too wordy, or my personal favourite, too convoluted (in reference, of course, to plot). Too long? Give me a break. I have ADD and I finished the series easily. In seventh grade. Too wordy? It's called a thesaurus. No, they're not extinct. Too complex? Oh, I'm sorry, I never got that memo where they declared that a book with an actual *plot* was a bad thing. Pardon me. And then there're the vampires. Forgetting, for the moment, that they defy every myth ever written, your twinkling, gorgeous hunks have absolutely no flaws. You say, “Exactly! They're, like, perfect!” They're two dimensional. They're supposedly capable of love and compassion: human qualities. Yet as humans (well, human-like creatures), they should possess flaws. Harry is a strong, loyal and trusting boy, with uncommon compassion and selflessness. Yet, given all those qualities, he can still be irrational, bigheaded, and just plain human. Whether or not you believe it possible for one to possess magical powers, you cannot deny that Harry is far more real than any Twilight character. This human nature leads into another argument you make: "The good guys, like, die! OMG!" No bloody way, good guys dying? I suppose my great-grandparents were horrible people, then. After all, they died! And only bad people die, right? You're scared of books talking about death? Young children shouldn't be reading about people being murdered because they'll get nightmares? Okay, let's teach them to have unprotected sex with the first handsome paedophile they meet, carry the child to term, and nearly die instead! That sounds bloody brilliant. But personally, I would rather my four-year-old sister grow up to value bravery, faithfulness, and love above lust, sex, and beauty. The mere fact that the Twilight series has achieved such success emphasizes just how pathetic today’s world is. To those who have read through my entire rant, I applaud you for your perseverance, and I would like to express my thanks that you either agreed with my arguments or dissented but were still willing to recognize the existence of another point of view. I would never go so far as to say that all Twilight readers are dumb, just as I would not, in good conscience, call all Harry Potter fans smart. I do, as stated above, have a strong dislike towards the Twilight books, and I feel that the overwhelming majority of outspoken Twi-hards are rather skint in terms of wit. I feel that the pathetic ignorance of much of the fan base is rather alarming. In the name of those who made it through this entire page-long essay, I'll end with a quote: "We won't be pushed around anymore, we'll be a force you cannot ignore, we'll be an army for Dumbledore! FOR DUMBLEDORE!!!" - AVPM.
